In this time of hurry burry, we have accepted anger as part of behavioral trait and we have even accepted that a person needs his/ her individual space and someone interrupting in that space may get hurt of the heat of victim’s anger and there is nothing wrong about it.
Yes, anger burst out is really necessary, because if you keep it in your heart for a long time, then certainly it can develop personality issues and mental problems in you. The habit to carry anger and bad memories for a long time with you and not able to disburse them in a proper way will certainly lead to mental illness.
But anger burst out is always not the solution, because many a times you may not be in the capacity to do so, then what? If you cannot exercise the option of bursting out then the only left option is of exploding within, and that is harmful for you only. Hence our mythology gives us two wonderful tools, to handle with this situation, and those are forgive and forget.
Come; let us understand the concept of forgiving and forgetting:
1. When someone does an act that annoys you and puts you to a condition of anger then before doing anything, ask yourself a few things. Is this person of that value that I should spoil MY mood for him? Here you have to make yourself feel superior, You must practice keeping your mood , feeling , your actions and reactions at the top. So ask yourself, does this person carry the value, big enough, that I should burst out? If the answer is no, then pamper yourself and just give a clear indication to the irritating factor that I don’t owe you that value. Also at the same time, forgive that person from heart and within nano seconds, put your focus on ‘next in que’ work.
This is because if you will forgive that person, then your heart shall not bear any burden of that, and your conscious would have already kept its value at a far higher level. And since you are forgiving, you will have an upper hand. So ultimately you will be relaxed. Now when you immediately start with the ‘next in que’ job, your mind will automatically learn that some other job is more important than that irritation or irritating person. It will help you forgetting that thing easily, without any efforts.
2. Also remind yourself always, that you are not here to carry the filth and litter thrown by others. Because someone via his dirty and stupid act annoyed you, and getting upset on the same, you also busted out. What it reflects? It reflects that he threw a stupidity and you with all your energy took it and placed it over your head, heating it up for a stupid person. Now just realize who is stupid, that person or you; who is getting angry over his act. Because most of us feel a tushan saying ‘I am a very strange person, I burst out just like that’. Think wisely whether you are praising yourself or degrading yourself.
Technique to forgive :
Just say to yourself, I am big, bigger than the condition, bigger than the fool in front. I won’t surrender to such a stupid act. More to that I will not insult my mind and would not spoil my peace of mind at any cost. Also say that since I am bigger than everything, then it is my duty to forgive others. This way you will be able to relax yourself in the most pampered way. Great idea, isn’t it?
Technique to forget or ignore
Take an instance you have to forget the monkey who was jumping on the tree. Now more you think the line that I have to forget a monkey who was jumping on the tree, more you will think of the monkey only. So the best idea is silence over a topic. Remember your mind has a tendency to throw ideas on you. It will repeatedly speak of the things that you should ideally forget. So best way is not to answer.
Remember your mind is merely a machine that has a certain way to work. In the most general way of its working, it shall keep throwing on to you the thoughts; ideally on which you should not work at all, the thoughts that you must forget. Now what to do?
DO NOTHING IS THE ANSWER, YES. And your mind shall learn it.
Whenever your mind throws upon you a thought, and you recognize it as a stupid or useless or worth forgetting thought; move on, to next in que work, without any anxiety or without any response to mind’s action. Behave as if you are not at all minding your thoughts and you have such a pending work, which is far more important than the useless thoughts.
This way in another general way of working , your mind will understand that certain thought is not getting energy from you at all and it shall automatically stop throwing that thought to you.
You can practice it to any height and can observe mind blowing changes in your reactions and your behavior. This is the best medicine that works in both the ways, relaxing you and keeping you into action as well.
So dear friends, just use two ‘F’ in a synchronized way and create a heaven within.